The Power of We                             

When I first came to Al‑Anon via electronic meetings just over a year ago, I thought I was all ready for Step One. I knew I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable. But it took attending many meetings and studying the Steps before it dawned on me—the word “I” was not anywhere in Step One.

The Step reads: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol...”  We, not I.

For the first time in a long time, I realized I was not alone. At each meeting, I was surrounded by others who knew, in one way or another, exactly what I was experiencing. They too had loved ones who struggled with the disease of alcoholism, and they too suffered because of their loved ones’ disease.

Others like me have felt isolated, scared, and anxious, worried about what would become of their loved ones if they could not recover from this disease. Desperate for answers and relief and a place to share my fear and pain, I began to attend two online meetings a week, then three, then four, and sometimes more. No matter which ones I went to, no matter what time of day or evening, no matter what country, the message was consistent: I was not alone.

Every step is a “we” step. Knowing that we are all in this together—that we are a family of Al‑Anon members, all looking for answers, all seeking strength and hope—has given me exactly that: strength and hope.

Today, a year after coming into the virtual Al‑Anon rooms, I have more peace and serenity than I ever dreamed possible. I found a wonderful Sponsor who gently guides and encourages me. I am working the Steps, reading my literature every day, and greeting every morning with the Serenity Prayer.

But my greatest source of strength has been my Al‑Anon family, the wonderful people who show up at meetings to listen, share, and do service to help themselves and others find recovery. And that is why I “Keep Coming Back.”

By Gina B., New York

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

I “Keep Coming Back” for Myself                         

I first started attending Al‑Anon meetings in a desperate attempt to learn how to help my brother find sobriety. My life was unmanageable in that I didn’t know how to get him to seek help, and I was powerless over the control alcohol had over him.

In that first meeting, I heard the phrase “family disease,” and the dots of my own life began connecting. I was raised, along with my sister and brother, in an alcoholic family. So many things started to make sense. I would say that neither I nor my siblings have had a healthy relationship with alcohol, and now my brother has the disease.

I realize now how greatly my life has been affected by this disease. Things like lack of confidence, isolation, being withdrawn, fear of speaking up, and being competitive are just a few of the traits that can be at least partially explained by my childhood in alcoholism. Today, I don’t blame my father for this, because that doesn’t change anything. I am the person I am today, and recognizing that the family disease of alcoholism contributed to that brings me some peace. 

I was first drawn to Al‑Anon to find out how to help my brother, but I “Keep Coming Back” to help myself.

By Russ B., Minnesota

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

Step One

This Step is easy to say but hard to apply. I didn’t come into Al‑Anon thinking I was powerless over alcohol. I remember wanting to pour the alcohol down the drain but not having the courage to do so because of the money that was spent on it. I thought about saying a lot of things, but if there was pushback, I would stop to avoid confrontation. I did, however, know that my life had become unmanageable. I was coping with my life in an unhealthy way.

Once the drinking stopped, I began to see just how unmanageable my life had become. I placed more effort into maintaining the illusion of control than into getting to know myself. I was overfilled with emotions inside but was not able to express them outwardly.

Over time, things have become more manageable. I have learned the difference between my responsibility and that of others. I no longer try to control others’ responsibilities. Today, I can freely admit my powerlessness without experiencing any pain. I am grateful for Al‑Anon and what I have learned, and I keep revisiting Step One because it helps me stay on track with being true to myself.

By Theresa B., Florida

Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.